Seems to me that writer Khalil-ur-Rehman Qamar (KRQ)’s infamous interview made his project Meray Paas Tum Ho the most talked-of play on Pakistani social media in a matter of hours. People who couldn’t be bothered with watching it before are now discussing it, and they are particularly riled up over a line that’s actually the only sensible dialogue of this drama, very fitting according to the circumstance for which it was written.
“Iss 2 takay ki larki ke liyay aap mujhay 50 million
de rahay hain?”
This line seems to be the hill that all our ‘woke’ viewers
want to die on. They’re lashing out over how dare this misogynist writer say
that about women?!! And that’s why I have an issue with this silly outrage.
This line is fitting because that ‘larki’ is a gold-digger who cheated on her husband with a richer man and this was the husband’s response to his wife’s lover when the rich lover offered him money to buy her freedom aka divorce. This scenario isn’t about a woman wanting a way out of her marriage and you want to pitch forks in her support saying, ‘but it’s her right!’ No, it isn’t her right because this scenario is about a woman who cheated on her husband.
I don’t know about you but in my book, any cheating spouse deserves all the insults in the universe regardless of gender. This much shouldn’t be up for debate.
Khalil-ur-Rehman Qamar is a misogynist, that much was established in his interview, but the dialogue in question isn’t an example of that.
His misogyny is evident from the fact that in all 8 episodes of #MerayPaasTumHo, we’ve been introduced to three women and ALL of them are bad one way or another. Mehwish, the female MC, is a gold-digging cheating wife. Her friend is another rich woman who berates men for reasons unexplained. And lastly, Shahwar’s wife whom we never meet but through his own words get to know her as a cold-hearted materialistic witch who attaches zero value to family life.
His misogyny is evident from the fact that there are two men in the same play who cheat on their spouses but KRQ casts them both in favorable and charming light. He has fashioned Shahwar after Indecent Proposal’s John Gage – rich, handsome, suave, good-hearted rich man who cares for the people around him, possibly looking for true love. Except Robert Redford played a businessman who literally offered a million-dollar deal to both the husband and the wife and they accepted it with mutual agreement but whatever. Secondly, it’s the old man in Danish’s office who confesses to have cheated on his wife but again, he is portrayed as a good man who cares for the people around him and even befriends Danish because he’s so nice. Notice how none of the women in KRQ’s world are afforded this humanizing?
His misogyny is evident from the fact that he has a very skewed concept of love. Danish is portrayed as a doting husband when he is really a control-freak who is passive aggressive and obsessed with his wife to the point where he has no life outside of her. That’s not love. That’s a shrill cry for help and therapy. He is abnormally calm like a sociopath who is about to commit murder. Danish is stoic and scary, not loving.
However, as bad as KRQ’s vision is, it does have a silver lining. In order to establish Danish as the ideal man, he let him let go of his wife without any bloodshed or violence. He didn’t blame her lover. The only harsh bit he threw was the ‘2 takay ki larki’ line. And I think it did more good than it probably meant to.
I’ve come across several posts listing how ‘society’ responds to men who cheat versus how it responds to women who cheat. I’ve also read countless posts by wives who are just dying to forgive their cheating husbands because ‘he loves me and apologized’ and seek endorsement for their stance, which is readily given by other women because ‘you should give him a second chance.’ But ever since Danish insulted his cheating wife but shook hands with her lover, women are upset over why he would not blame the lover as well?
Well, because the lover didn’t break any sacred vows to him.
His wife did.
If you’re just now realizing the unfairness and idiocy of your responses to cheating husbands when you go after the Other Woman instead of the Cheating Husband, demonize the Other Woman instead of the Cheating Husband, call her names while exonerating the Cheating Husband because ‘bechara behak gya thaa lekin abb sharminda hai,’ know that it’s really because a misogynist writer did right by his gender by laying full blame of breaking sacred marriage vows on the spouse who broke them. Maybe you should’ve done the same and not be such a tool for upholding patriarchy. Maybe next time you hear of a cheating husband, don’t rush to his rescue by trampling on the woman he cheated with.
I can’t believe I’m giving credit to KRQ for starting this conversation, but this is what it takes, then so be it.
Humeira Ajaz Kazmi is a freelance blogger, novelist , and a dark chocolate and Pakistani drama enthusiast. Apart from a novel in commercial women’s fiction, she has also authored children’s books, and co-author an epic fantasy trilogy. She has blogged for many national and international publications, including The Huffington Post and Muslim Girl. She lives with her husband and children in Tennessee, USA. She tweets @humeirakazmi. Visit her website HERE for more information.
Humeira Ajaz Kazmi is a freelance blogger, novelist, and a dark chocolates and Pakistani drama enthusiast. Apart from a novel in commercial women’s fiction, she has also authored children's books, and co-author an epic fantasy trilogy. She has blogged for many national and international publications including The Huffington Post and Muslim Girl. She lives with her husband and children in Tennessee, USA. She tweets @humeirakazmi.
Visit her website www.humeirakazmi.com for more information.
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